For those of you new to my blog, I am 54 and have just recently lost my husband. He was diagnosed with cancer in Oct and died in March although the Drs had given us much longer. He was fit and healthy, still working and neither of us had any idea he was sick, being on my own these last two months after being married for 25years has been the hardest thing to go through, but if I can remind others to look at the positives in each other and tell the other person what you see in them while you have the chance then something positive will come out of it.
No relationship is perfect but we can focus on the negative or focus on the positive. Choose the positive. I had a sign on the inside of the pantry door which read, “if I am upset with Colin, what is it that I am not doing for myself?”
We may think they should do this or that etc but when they are gone you have to do everything for yourself as well as feeling a huge empty hole inside you that feels like it will always be there.
When I first started saying to Colin how much I appreciated our life together and who he was as a person, he said, “bloody hell, it sounds like you think I am going to die.” But I said, “why do we have to wait for someone to die or be dying for us to tell the other person that we are thankful for them and what we have together.
i am so glad I did as if I hadn’t I may never had got the chance. So many people die of heart attacks, car accidents or other sudden deaths that we never get the gift of parting moments. How amazing to know we had already told them all the things we would have wanted to say.
I challenge each of you to let the people in your life know what they mean to you. It may be a husband or wife, but also include, your children, your parents, your brothers and sisters and even your friends.
If the list or the task feels overwhelming then put one person in your diary each week and send them a card or even a text if you cant do it any other way.
To each of you my readers I say thank you for being there, for reading my posts and making me feel connected even at a time when I feel so disconnected.